Compliments

I know a lot of people often say that actions speak louder than words, but you know what, words are often pretty powerful too.  Never underestimate the power of a gentle action OR the power of a simple compliment.

This past weekend, Rob and I attended a wedding for our good friends (one of the couples in our little Patchogue boy circle).  Rob was a groomsman, so I paired with another solo wife for most of the festivities.  But prior to the day, I realized that my tan lines (from my Hunger Games addiction) made my outfit look trashy, so I set out to find a spaghetti-strapped dress to disguise my sunbathing problems.  Luckily, at my first stop, I splurged on a dress and new purse.  Then, at my next stop, I quickly found a new pair of silver shoes, which I had needed anyway.  I was happy to have found everything so quickly and easily and was glad to feel skinny and cute in my new outfit, especially since I am still grieving the loss of my hair (lol).

My hot date, spaghetti-strapped dress, and "buttery" dress

During cocktail hour, the groomsmen were released from their picture duties and came out to the pretty balcony to find us.  I had hoped my husband would come right over to me and throw out a compliment of how nice I looked.  Instead, he joked at how I already started eating without him, left to get a plate, and sat across the table.  Before he had to leave again for the bridal party entrance, he touched my dress and said I was "buttery"; I took that as my dress was silk and, therefore, slippery aka buttery. I couldn't help but express my distaste for the lack of compliments from my husband.  He is not a wordy guy, but c'mon! Buttery does not mean beautiful.

My Non-Verbally Expressive Hubby <3

I am always amused at weddings how girls know they have to tell the bride she looks amazing.  Of course she looks amazing; it's her wedding day.  And even if she looks sub par, which she probably doesn't, no one is going to say otherwise.  Greeting the bride is almost a learned behavior.  The bride expects the compliment, and the people expect give it.  Likewise, it was also the first thing that I said to the bride. Also, as usual, her maid of honor complimented the bride's appearance in her speech, but I couldn't help smirk because the MOH was using cards (I HATEEE "heartfelt" speeches with cards!!) and must have written "You look" on one card and "amazing" on the second because there was a long pause and a look down during her compliment time.  What I thought more amusing is that the speech was written before the day even happened, already predicting the bride's beauty.  Don't get me wrong.  The bride was beautiful.  I just think our social training and idea of genuineness is funny.  

The beautiful bride

Speaking of training, before the wedding, I started my first summer speed workout with the Divas. Four of us met at the Bayport-Bluepoint High School track at 8:30 a.m. for 4x800s and 2x1000s.  All of us did great, especially since speed is a little scary after you get used to running mileage day after day.  As for me specifically, I felt pretty good, feeling a burn on #3 and recovering from it quickly.  (Splits: 2:43, 2:39, 2:42, 2:56, 2:41, 2:49).  I liked that I got up out of bed and pushed myself harder than I would on my own.  Plus, I had friends (Ashley, Jenn, Pita, Coach Oliva) to talk to as I recovered from each interval, which is always nice.  As for compliments though, Coach Oliva threw out two better-than-buttery compliments during the workout.  After the second repeat, he cheered as I floated through the first lap, "Wow, all of those years of hard work have really paid off."  I translate this into the idea that I looked pretty effortless on the track, which is a good thing.  By the third repeat, since my splits were so consistent, he called me a metronome, the musical device that clicks out a specific beat to pace the music. I take these wonderful words to heart. Also, they remind me of how important these little phrases are during a workout when I coach.

The only coaching I have been doing lately is at spin class, and here, too, I have learned the power of a kind word.  As a student in the class, I do spin harder when the instructor says, spin harder. As a teacher, I remember to throw out these directions and watch the class move a little more.  As a student, I also liked a "good job" or "you look great," so naturally, I use these terms when I sit in the front of the class too.  And there's nothing nicer when the cyclers leave the class and tell me it was a great class.  I especially like a music compliment, because I spend way too much time deciding on my tunes. 

I think the time I naturally go into compliment mode is when I am with Lily, Ashley's amazingly smart and beautiful baby girl.  (She says toddler, but I will always call her a baby - until she yells at me for insulting her when she is a "big girl," which will happen way too soon). Every little thing she does amazes me and I can't help but commend her for mastering small things, like saying my name or getting into the set position for a race (she holds her arms back as if she was pushing out of a ski start - I think).  I also can't help but over compliment her mom and dad for doing such a good job, even if their child gets a little moody and full of terrible two's "no's" sometimes.  In fact, at our summer series race, she watched Ashley and me stretch and started "exercising" with us.  My heart melted and I must have said "good job" thousands of time.

Lily Girl!

And in terms of babies and compliments, Rob and I were watching Teen Mom on Tuesday.  I think it's awesome that it's the one show that I really enjoy that he doesn't mind watching.  He can mimic all of their voices too, which makes the show much more amusing. (We will be in a store and he will start doing his "JANELLE" mom voice - I am laughing just hearing it). In the most recent episode, Kyle and Maci started fighting because he jokingly called her an "idiot" (because she was being an idiot). She freaked out and kicked him out. But his actions always show how much he loves her.  He takes care of her son (not his) better than anyone, and he always lets the annoying things she says and does slide.  The one idiot comment had her furious at him for days, and he came back to their place and made her stop being mad.  Her actions were way worse than his one insulting word.  His actions speak loudly.

So I guess the moral of this story (these stories) is throw out the compliments you wish people would say to you, and if they don't say it back to you, let it slide.  Sometimes you might be too blinded to see that they are showing you a "good job" instead of saying it, and sometimes, they just might be jerks who aren't worth your time anyway!

Summer Strategy

Pardon my absence, I have been enjoying every single moment of my summer vacation.  So let's give you a quick run down.  I am going to keep today brief since I have craft projects, cleaning, running, and some relaxing to do :)  


Overall some of my favorite parts of summer consist of (I love lists, so here goes):

1. Coffee and/or breakfast on nice plates in my pretty living room  

I just love the idea of having enough time to wake up, break out my pretty plates, and cook up some eggs for breakfast.  While I cook, I down a cup of water (trying to keep my water intake good since I am known for being a camel and avoiding it all day).  This year I have been doing a much better job at drinking water, and I don't want to ruin my streak.  


After my eggs and coffee are ready, I head over to the living room/dining room (old fashion term: parlor). No matter how hard I try to call it the parlor, I just call it the living or dining room - I can't be THAT old fashioned.  


Last semester during the school year, I tried to wake up a few minutes early just to squeeze in some sit-down breakfast time. I did get the chance most of the time, but there is nothing like eating breakfast and then getting to hang around all day.  

2. My Cat

Some days, hanging around all day means hanging out with my Oliver.  He really is the cutest little thing (seven years old and he will always be my little baby).  He follow me around everywhere.  If I go outside, he usually hangs by the window to watch (or goes and takes a nap).  If I am sitting in the office doing some work, he will lay on the rug beside my feet and take a nap in the sun.  If I go to fold laundry in our guest room, he grabs a spot on the bed.  If I read on the couch, he naps on the couch.  Yes, he naps a lot. 


If he is not napping, he drags all of his toys to me and cries as he brings each of them until I acknowledge him.  I love him.  Now, he is curled up in my lap as I type (since I acknowledged his shower of toys).  He loves me too.


Rob asks me often who I would choose: Rob or Oliver.  I avoid answering. lol.  

2. Books

I just finished reading the Hunger Games Trilogy, and I am a fan.  I relate to Katniss, as I am sure most girls do.  Who doesn't want to be the beautiful stubborn Victor?  I am sure you will be seeing lots of HG references throughout the blogs, especially when it gets closer to game time.  


I just like the idea that I have time to curl up and finish a book without worrying or feeling guilty about what else I need to squeeze in.  In fact, I have really awful tan lines right now because I was outside reading in our new wicker loungers and didn't realize how long I sat out there as I was engrossed in the world of Panem.  

3. Side jobs

Although I am off, I am not really "off."  I am happy to admit that I am still raking in a pretty decent amount of bill money this summer (especially since I thought I was going to solely be savings-dipping).  Between teaching spin class, private tutoring (Rob just picked up another job for me - a 9:20 two-miler.  I have really good ways of relating the SAT strategy to race strategy, so I'll be perfect for the job lol.  Plus, what don't I relate to race strategy.), and tutoring at a college, I still have a pretty busy "work" schedule.  


Spin class does not count as "work."  I get to listen to music, make random playlists, and dictate a course of action.  I guess I am a natural coach, although the one downer to spin class is that sometimes I just like to be the student and not the person in charge.  But good thing, because now I can go to a spin class whenever I want, free of charge!  I am already starting to see a change in my quads, an extra bulge on the outside if I flex and a couple of deeper striations on the top and side.  Woohoo!  


I try to spin three days a week, but it really does zap my legs for running.  I am still trying to balance the two (expect a blog on this balancing act soon).  

4. Arts and crafts

Some of of my friends call me mini-Martha.  I just love creating things, especially for gifts.  I think they mean a little more when the gift receiver knows there is some sweat poured into the gift.  Yesterday, I dropped off a personalized hanger for my friend's wedding dress (I wired her new last name in the enter of the hanger, perfect for a wedding dress shot).  Thanks to Pinterest, sometimes I don't even have to come up with these ideas anymore; I plagiarize.  Now, I have the time to waste on the computer browsing ideas and the extra time to make more special things for people!  Working on a bouquet preservation tonight!  

5. Running

Because spin has tired me out, I haven't started a weightlifting program yet, which will begin starting this week.  I figure between spinning, swimming, and lifting, I can accessorize my running.  Since I spin on the Real Ryder bikes, my arms, not just legs, get a nice workout too.  Once the Patchogue pool opens in late June, I will get another full body workout swimming laps.  I want to learn how to flip this summer!  Then, lifting I can do in my beautiful home gym.  I figure, spin 2-3 days a week. Swim 2 days a week. Lift two days a week.  Run, six days.  Of course, I don't want to overdue anything.  Because I plan to do so much, I will definitely take one full day of rest, just like God.  


Because I have a flexible schedule for now, I get my running in whenever I want.  Lately, it has been late evening, which has been really nice.  Usually, I prefer a beautiful early morning run, but I give myself the month of May to sleep in until 8 or 9, since I don't get to sleep in that often during the school year.  Add in breakfast and house chores while digesting, and it's already 10 by the time I could run; I don't usually have great runs around 10-12, since I am used to lunch around 11:30.  I think Doomsday (my hungry alter ego) tries to ruin my run if I don't feed him.  Otherwise, I have been doing a spin class in the morning, so I need plenty of time to rest my legs before running (otherwise a different sort of Doomsday comes to ruin my run).


Plus, the weather has been so awful lately.  I wake up to rain and gloom, so I prefer to work on some inside house projects (adding more mason jars to my pantry, cleaning the fridge, donating clothes).  Then, the weather has gotten better in the evening, and if it's not better, I head out anyway. The other day I ran a 12-mile run to Bellport around 7 p.m.  It was the most beautiful run of the summer so far! On the weekend, I have been meeting up with Smitty, a Post athlete I have mentioned before, for a nice long run at about 8-minute mile pace.  It feels great to run and chat at a pretty decent pace with some company.  Add those runs to some of the most enjoyable ones of the summer too.  


Plus, my short pony tail (just donated my hair) makes my long runs mixed with the humidity quite enjoyable.  I think I probably commended myself for about four miles at what a good decision it was to chop the hair for some summer running.  

6. House projects

Like I said before, in between all of this, I have lots of house projects to do. Since I live in a Victorian house and with a perfectionist (my husband), there is always something to be done.  Right now I am scraping and sanding all of the paint off the outside trim and going to re-stain.  Rob's dad says I do a better job than a painter, which is probably one of the nicest compliments Mr. Bill Morris can give.  


I put "sand" on my to-do list everyday, just like I do for running.  This way, like my running routine, I will spend about 1-2 hours working on my sanding project.  Also, similar to running, I get quicker the more I work on the project and get more completed each day.  This way, the little work each day, adds up to great results.


And all of these little lovely summer items add up to a really great life.  I just can feel a change in my sprit and love every minute of my craziness.